As I write this we’re less than 45 days from the 2024 Presidential Election. A lot has occurred in the past two months. Many of us are feeling the impact of verbal shots fired. Others are fearful of the potential election outcomes; others feel hopeless that things will never change. Some are experiencing the fatigue of what feels like a year-long election cycle. And some of us – for the first time in a long while – are feeling hopeful.
First and foremost I want you to know there’s no right or wrong to whatever you’re experiencing as we inch our way to November 5, 2024. There is a lot at stake in the 2024 Presidential Election and ALL feelings are valid. That said, I want to focus on three experiences I’ve been hearing about from a lot of folks: anger, fear, and hopelessness.
Anger: Childless Cat Lady
By now you’ve likely heard about JD Vance’s childless cat lady comment. The surge of responses from individuals who do not have kids – for any number of reasons – have been profound and entertaining at times. What’s beneath these reactions? I believe it’s anger.
JD’s comment is not the sole catalyst to spark anger. There’s the racist remarks about Haitians in Springfield, racist comments about Kamala Harris’ ethnicity, and ignorant remarks about a woman’s right to choose all of which have angered a lot of folks.
The question is, what do we do with this anger?
Anger arises when we experience an injustice or when one of our boundaries is violated. Anger is a natural and adaptive response that is both helpful and necessary for survival. As described in this article, studies show that, “anger can motivate us to take action in social and political issues that matter to us.”
Rather than allow yourself to get stuck in anger, see if you can respond to it with validation and understanding. See if you can harness it into action. After all, that’s why anger has continued to evolve with us as humans!
Fear: You Won’t Have to Vote Anymore
For those of us who value democracy, the statement that former President Trump made stating that folks wouldn’t have to vote anymore if he were to be elected in November, generated a lot of fear. The fear of a shift from democracy to dictatorship. The fear of unbridled power in the hands of one individual. The fear of losing one’s voice.
There are many statements that serve to evoke fear in the general population. One politician recently made threats of a civil war if Trump loses the election in November. Folks use misinformation to create fear and, unfortunately misinformation tends to spread more quickly when it brings forth strong emotions in those who hear it. As a result, much of the general public is struggling to understand what is factual as we approach the November election and what information is borne out of fear, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Fear, like anger, is an evolutionarily adaptive emotion. The evolutionary function goes like this: a predator is a threat to an individual’s survival. In order to survive an individual must respond to threats to their existence. If individuals fail to respond, humans will eventually be extinct. The most common example shared is fear arises when there’s a tiger in the room. In other words, our natural fear responses are effective and necessary when our lives are in danger.
Although a loss of democracy, civil uprising and misinformation are not immediate threats to our lives, they do raise the question of survival as we currently know it. As a result many of us experience fear and the physiological responses that come with it – the release of adrenaline and cortisol – which allow us to react. The problem is humans are not made to be in a constant state of fear response. The sustained release of fear response hormones is incredibly harmful to our health.
Hopelessness: The Outcome of Sustained Anger or Fear
When you’ve been stuck in a chronic state of either fear or anger or when you’ve been oscillating between the two the result is often burnout. As outlined previously, fear is a natural response to a threat. Our threat response system activates when we perceive a threat and sends all kinds of messages to our bodies on how to get or keep us safe.
The past several elections have been so fraught with tension and fear mongering many experts have offered resources on how to support yourself through the chronic stress of the political landscape and election season.
If you’re in need of suggestions check out this article about how to overcome political burnout or this article about how to survive election stress.
The Case for Self-Compassion
From my point of view, the most effective way to navigate challenging times such as political burnout and election stress is with self-compassion. Self-compassion is a way of relating to yourself during times of stress, pain, and struggle. For those of us experiencing brief or sustained periods of anger, fear, and hopelessness self-compassion is a resource you can rely on.
As a Mindful Self-Compassion teacher myself, I regularly turn to the practice of Soften Soothe Allow (by Dr. Chris Germer) when I’m struggling with difficult emotions. This practice supports us in being with the difficult experiences in a gentle and tender way. It’s well researched that emotions last roughly 90 seconds. When we can bring tender awareness to ourselves for 90 seconds at a time, we can begin to move through painful and distressing experiences with more ease and certainly more compassion.
In addition to this kind way of relating to ourselves, Dr. Kristin Neff has researched and published a book outlining how self-compassion can be fierce. This expression of self-compassion supports us in setting boundaries, advocating for ourselves and others, and acting in line with our values. When we respond to ourselves from a place of understanding, kindness and compassion we are better able to honor our own needs and values. We’re more likely to self-advocate and seek justice for others.
In summary, our politics are stressful right now. The election is anxiety provoking. Very few of us are moving through this time of year completely unimpacted by the tension and uncertainty of the election. The very best we can do is to be kind and gentle with ourselves so that we can continue to stay engaged.
Note: If you’re curious about how to apply compassion with others during election season, consider participating in Sharon Salzberg’s upcoming Election Series.
Final Note: If you’re a childless cat lady, dog lady, plant lady or childless person in general and would like to connect with other childless / childfree folks join our wait list for the next round of Childfree | A Space for You. You’ll be notified of future offerings for this community.
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