Living Between Cultures: AAPI Identities and Mental Health

Having a personal identity is like having a stabilizing anchor. Knowing who you are and what you value are core understandings that can impact your self-esteem, the way you connect with others, and your motivation to achieve goals that matter to you.

Particularly for those in the AAPI community, straddling cultures can make one's understanding of their identity more complex. While having multiple cultural identities can be enriching and meaningful, it can also be conflicting and a source of stress when the cultural identities are experienced as clashing.

The Challenges of Straddling Cultures

The experience of living between cultures can significantly impact one’s well-being and mental health. For example, second-generation immigrants may face challenges with acculturation and meeting family expectations that can manifest in deep feelings of shame and guilt. Similarly, Third Culture Kids (TCKs) – individuals who were raised abroad in a different culture than their parents – may deal with stressors such as loneliness, feeling dislocated, and an uncertain sense of belonging. While multiculturalism can certainly benefit well-being and bring richness to one’s life, there are also real experiences of suffering and hardship from an unclear sense of identity and belonging.

In my personal experience growing up as a second-generation Asian immigrant, I was distinctly aware of how shaky my identity could be. I often questioned if I was too much or not enough. Living with different cultures meant that at times I wasn’t “American” enough, nor was I “Asian” enough. My priorities were fitting in and meeting standards and often those standards were defined by others. I felt immense pressure to meet expectations that weren’t my own, leaving me to distrust myself and ignore what I personally cared about.

How to Better Connect with Your Identity

People who feel disconnected from their identity are often craving authenticity. Self-reflection and connection can help you better understand who you are. It’s often difficult to know where to start. Below are some tips that may support you in your journey:

Journaling

Writing can help you explore your identity in a gentle and curious way. Better understanding your values, for example, can help anchor you in your identity and set more direction in your life. Below are some prompts to get you started:

• What do you value? What do you care about? What, in your opinion, makes a life more meaningful and fulfilling? (You may find that your values are shaped by your blended cultural experiences)

• What energizes you?

• What are your dreams? If there were no barriers, what would your ideal life look like?

• How can you anchor yourself to live a life that aligns with what you care about?

Therapy

Working with a therapist can help you develop a stronger narrative of your identity and your life, and lay a path for the life you want. Therapists can also help you strengthen your coping skills for difficult feelings or moments.

• Some find it especially meaningful to work with an AAPI clinician who may have similar lived experiences as you. Often, they can understand what you’ve lived through on a more personal level. The Asian Mental Health Collective is one example of a therapist directory that features clinicians with AAPI identities.

• Before you commit: Many therapists offer a complimentary consultation meeting to discuss your support needs and assess fit before deciding to move forward with working together.

Exposure to other AAPI stories

There is no one way to be an AAPI individual. Learning more about other AAPI stories can expose you to a wide array of experiences. Some stories may feel familiar and validating. Others may be inspirational and encouraging. Some examples to check out include:

• “Best Asian-American Movies of All Time”

• AANHPI Heritage Book List

Community

Connecting with others within a community can help strengthen a sense of identity, particularly if there are shared values and beliefs. Virtual community support groups are available to connect with others who have walked a similar path.

Living between cultures is understandably a confusing and sometimes painful experience. On top of that, the process of finding yourself can be a long and uncomfortable process. However, simply taking the steps to define and honor your identity can be an act of self-compassion. It’s an opportunity to take control of your narrative, to make sense of what you’ve lived through, and carve out a life that feels truer to who you are.