How to Practice Meaningful Self-Care Guided by Your Core Values

We often talk about self-care as “good for you” activities such as getting a massage or picking up a coffee from your favorite coffee shop. While this is great self-care for many people, it can quickly fall flat for a lot of us. What if you could make your self-care practice more meaningful and restorative? It’s entirely possible. The key is understanding your core values, and how they influence the way you take care of yourself.

Do you ever struggle with this trendy word self-care? If so, you’re not alone. There’s so much discussion about self-care, but not a lot of guidance. More often than not, hearing about the need for more self-care can feel overwhelming. I’ve heard lots of different frustrations come up about this word. For some folks, maybe it feels like another thing to add to your already long to-do list. For others self-care activities may be too expensive or too time consuming. 

These barriers can lead to simply giving up on the idea completely. If this is you, I have some good news: taking the time to understand your personal values can be tremendously helpful in focusing your self-care practice so it feels more meaningful and less stressful.

Identifying Your Core Values

Studies show that living in alignment with your core values has a profound impact on overall life satisfaction. When you know what truly matters to you, you gain a deeper sense of what is genuinely restorative – what truly fills your cup. This self-awareness allows for more meaningful engagement with self-care. 

You might be wondering how to begin connecting self-care to your core values. A good starting point is to identify your personal values. This can seem difficult so if you need a little guidance, I’ve outlined a four-step process to guide you. If you’d like, you can reference this helpful list of values as you go.

1. Think of a really happy moment in your life. What was it about this experience that made it feel so special? (Was it adventurous? Was it creative? Compassionate? etc.) Write down the values that are connected to the experience.

   
   

2. Do you have a “code of conduct”? In other words, do you have a set of rules (or values) to live by as you interact with the world around you? Add these to your list.

   
   

3. After you’ve identified between 5 and 10 listed core values, take some time to define what each of those values means for you. 

   
   

4. Finally, take some time to reflect on the ways you’re living in alignment with those values and how you’ve drifted away from your desired values. 

Doing this practice can help you bring more awareness to the places that feel “off” in your life and allow you to consider what actions you can take to move toward alignment. These actions are self-care activities as I’ll talk more about below.

If you’d like some additional guidance around values, there are several online resources that can help you to identify your core values (I really like this Brene Brown Exercise). If you’re new to this idea of core values, perhaps you’d like to use this more detailed introduction and toolkit to support you in the process.

It’s important to note that knowing your core values is not a one time exercise. This is a practice that it is helpful to come back to periodically in order to notice if and when your values are shifting - it’s a lifelong process.

Moving from Core Values to Self-Care

Once you’ve identified your core values, you can begin to focus on how each value can be connected to your own self-care. You can start by trying to identify what your values look like when lived out practically in your day-to-day life. As you pay more attention to what your core values look like practically, you begin to get a sense of the small actions that help you take care of yourself. You might also start to notice how the lack of those behaviors adds to the difficulty you experience. 

I recently worked with one of my clients on this very topic. She was struggling to find the time to take care of herself, and feeling the burnout from the weight of work, home and family responsibilities she carried. Through exploring and clarifying her core values she came to realize how essential connection was for her. As a result she began to identify opportunities she had to spend time with loved ones. As her awareness shifted around how time spent with those she cared about filled her up, she was able to see those moments as a form of self-care and let go of the external definitions and added pressure of “doing self-care right” (ie, a massage).

To offer another example, if growth is a core value for you, then self-care could translate into learning new skills, reading enriching books, or going to therapy. Or if tranquility is a core value, then self-care might involve practicing mindfulness, spending time in nature, or creating a peaceful home environment. These are just a few examples of the multitude of ways you can begin to connect your core values to how you take care of yourself, and maybe more importantly how you think about what “counts” as self-care.

When you successfully bridge the gap between your values and their real world application, you allow yourself to live  them out as an authentic form of self-care.This is not merely about performing self-care activities; it's about infusing those activities with the essence of what truly matters to you. By understanding and living in accordance with your core values, your self-care practices will no longer just be a routine, but a powerful pathway to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

If you’ve struggled to find ways to practice meaningful self-care or if you’re unclear what your personal values are, the clinicians here at North Star Therapy Collective are seasoned in supporting clients as they navigate this work. Feel free to reach out here to schedule a consultation with one of our therapists. 

Written by Sarah Craycraft, LPC, who supports women and families working through life transitions, healing trauma, and identity development.